


Jiraiya's crushes

by Irisen



Category: Naruto
Genre: Age Swap, F/M, Jiraiya has a crush, M/M, OS, Sannin Swap, guest starring a bush, i love this au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 20:13:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14003826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irisen/pseuds/Irisen
Summary: Jiraiya loves Minato-sensei's former teacher.(He's the only one in his team who does)





	Jiraiya's crushes

Jiraiya loved his sensei's former teacher.

He Loved him, capital L and everything and, as much as he liked being around his own mentor, he would strangle both Orochimaru and Tsunade (getting to her would be harder though) to get to learn under the legendary ninja. Not that Minato wssn't legendary, he already was kind of an urban legend in Kumo and Iwa (rumor has it parents used stories about him to get their kids to go to bed) but he wasn't  _legendary_ , not like the Sannin, not like Obito-sama.

If he wasn't so straight, Jiraiya would one hundred percent be having a massive crush on the man and, honestly, who wouldn't? Despite being nearly twenty years older than the Yellow Flash, he was still way hotter, with none of Minato's girly face and, instead a strong, male one, completed by a light stubble and a dash of grey at his temples. He was incredibly good looking, and so strong. From his entry in the Bingo Book, he was supposed to have learned more than one thousand jutsus.

That was more than the amount of books Jiraiya had read in his entire life!

Wait.

Scratch that, he didn't read that much.

That was more than the amount of books Orochimaru had read in his entire life!

There, it was better, if (probably) wrong. Orochimaru was a total nerd.

Anyways, back to Obito-sama.

Not only was he S-ranked, but he was also next in line to become Hokage, which never ended to annoy Minato, who would have to wait his turn before he could take the famous mantle. Plus, considering how badly his girlfriend wanted the role, he still had some competition before he could pretend to the highest ninja rank there was. No doubt, as strong as he was, his sensei had nothing on his grand-sensei.

That was how he liked to call Obito-sama. Grand-sensei. It made him feel like they were close.

_Ok_. Maybe he had a  _small_ crush.

Tsunade must never know.

Not that she would care really. Well. She would care that his crush was a male. Then she would realize that said male was Obito-sama and she would want nothing to do with it. Ever since she learned that the Uchiha and his partners were behind one of the highest-grossing porn series of all time (and how cool was that?) she had cut all bridges with them, no matter how legendary the three of them were. That, Jiraiya often thought, was kind of dumb considering that Rin-sama was the best medic in the history of ... well ... ever, and that she, herself, wanted to become a medic one day.

If she wanted to succeed, she would have to look past the porn and see the genius ninja hidden behind the smut.

The wonderful, wonderful smut.

No, really, Minato's sensei was an amazing writer. Or his teammates were. Anyways, one of the members of the previous Team Seven had been a literary prodigy, what a chance that they had decided to use their talent to its full extent and write porn with it! What a waste it would have been if it had been used somewhere else ... if they had decided to become a boring documentary writer or worse ... a children's author.

Terrifying.

From accross the training field, Tsunade glared fiercily at him, no doubt sensing that he was thinking about smut. Distractedly, he wiped under his nose with the back of his hand and stuck his tongue in disgust when it came back glistering with blood. Nosebleeds. Again. He really had to get this under control.

"You really have to get this under control."

"UWAAAAA!!"

Panicked, Jiraiya threw two kunaïs towards the source of the voice that had just spoken and, before he knew it, he was lying face down on the ground, someone holding his arm behind his back and a blade pressed against his neck. He thought about trashing around, or even call for help (none of his teammates seemed to realize what had just happened to him) but the cold metal against his throat started pressing more intently on his skin and he felt a few drops of blood begin to slip out.

Shit.

"You are not a very good ninja," the voice said, matter-of-factly.

The weight against his back disappeared and, suddenly, he could breathe again. Once he finished coughing and got his voice back, he immediately turned to the asshole that had just decided that making him eat the grass was a good idea (which, surprise, it wasn't. The grass was disgusting. Jiraiya wasn't a cow. He was a man. A manly, manly man), opened his mouth to spit out some insult, realized who was in front of him and started to choke on his saliva.

His gaze set in a firm deadpan expression, Hatake Kakashi, rumored head of Anbu and proud (?) winner of the title of 'Most Mysterious Ninja in Konoha' for twenty years straight, patted him on the back as he started dying, both on the outside and on the inside. Even if he wasn't at Obito-sama's level of awesomeness, Hatake-sama was just as impressive to see in real life. He had a mask that made him look like a scary, slightly psychopathic missing nin, a dope scar on one of his eyes, and  _white hair_. Jiraiya had white hair! They could totally bond over that.

"There there." Hatake-sama said, in the tone of someone who had just dropped his toast on the ground and could now do nothing but stare at it. "There there. Don't die. Please."

"Have you... Have you ever killed anyone like this?"

The shinobi eye-smiled but didn't answer.

A shiver was starting to crawl up Jiraiya's spine.

As cool as this guy was, he was also definitely kind of scary. If he wasn't so set on ignoring everything that had to do with Obito-sama, Orochimaru would probably have adored him. Maybe he would have crushed on him like the total nerd he was.

Ha, crushing on a Sannin like some dumb Academy student.

Nerd.

He was about to ask Hatake-sama if he could sign his Bingo Book when one of the bushes next to them started moving around. After some ruffling and a lot of annoyed grunts, a hand came out of it. Then a head. Then a person.

"Kakashi how the fuck do you move in these?" Nohara Rin, head of Konoha's Hospital and S-ranked kunoichi complained.

"Talent." Her former teammate answered.

Rin-sama frowned at the man, the fondness in her eyes lessening quite a bit her threatening posture, then she looked at Jiraiya, staring him down until, suddenly, her face lit up like she had just remembered something important.

"Oooh, that's one of Minato's kid."

"Yep."

"He's the one that's got a crush on Obito."

"What? No, I-..."

"Yep."

"No really I don't..."

Rin-sama put a hand on Jiraiya's hair and she started patting it condescendingly, like she would have done with a particularly small dog.

"It's ok, we all get a crush on Obito at some point, you just have to get past it."

"But you guys are married," he pointed out, frowning.

She seemed to think for a while.

"Yes, that's true. We  _are_ married."

Jiraiya was about to ask her how she could have forgotten something as important as her marital statute but something deep inside of him told him that it was probably not a good idea to do that. Instead, he went for a question that was, he hoped, not too personal and not rude enough to drive away two of his idols. He was really living the dream at this moment. Two Sannins were there, talking to him. If Tsunade came in and highkicked him to death, he would die a happy man.

"Sooo ... why were you in a bush?"

After a moment, he added quickly :

"With all due respect, uh ... sir."

Rin-sama shrugged then pointed at Hatake-sama, who was busy going through Jiraiya's Bingo Book and the few autographs the genin had managed to get on it.

He hadn't even felt him take the book. That man wasn't S-ranked for nothing.

"I was looking for Kakashi."

"In the bushes?"

"Yes. That's were he spends most of his time."

That information did  _not_ make that man look like any saner. If he wasn't so cool with his face mask and so handsome with his messy white hair and piercing eyes, then he would definitely have fell in Jiraiya's estime.

Oh.

Oh no. 

He was getting another crush, and on another man at that!

Really, Tsunade could  _not_ hear about this.

"You're getting kind of red, kid." Rin-sama noted, sounding a bit curious, "Are you feeling alright?"

Then, she bent over and whispered (very loudly) in his ear :

"Are you crushing on Kakashi?"

At that, the man in question raised an eyebrow and turned towards Jiraiya, who could only blush more before shaking his head vigorously.

"I mean, I would understand it. He's kind of hot. But don't tell him I said that."

"Rin, we're married," Hatake-sama deadpanned.

The white-haired Sannin closed Jiraiya's Bingo Book with a snap and handed it back to him. When the genin opened it, there was an elegant 'Hatake Kakashi' written on his Bingo Page, just under the red  **S Rank** that marred it.

"I don't want you to get too full of yourself."

Hatake-sama glared at her. She answered with a smirk.

This was, without a doubt, the greatest day of Jiraiya's life. It was right up there with the time Minato-sensei had taught him the Rasengan and that other time when he had been stuck in the ceiling of the girl's locker room for three hours. Sure, no one had actually used it, since it was at night and he was only supposed to go in for recon, but it had still been awesome.

"Anyways," Rin-sama said, "we should get going. We have work to do."

"Actually, I don't, I do most of my work at night."

"I know. You're going to help me, I'm looking for one of yours. Your pet idiots are skipping their physicals again."

Both legendary ninjas stood up, Rin-sama ruffling Jiraiya's hair as she did so. Hatake-sama, him, only waved lazily in his direction before shunshining away, quickly followed by his wife, who was yelling something about 'not dodging his responsabilities again'. In an instant, Jiraiya was left on his own, as if nothing had happened, as if he had not just been visited by two of the greatest warriors of his time.

And two of the most good-looking ones too. Now that he thought about it, Rin-sama was an incredibly beautiful woman.

Oh shit.

He was getting a third crush.

Well, at least it was on a woman this time.

**Author's Note:**

> The only reason Kakashi's handwriting is good is because it was beaten into him by the former Anbu commander. He needs it for paperwork related reasons.


End file.
